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10 February 2005

The Inaugural ISBISS Awards

These awards are somewhat inspired by the "hacking mass" contests over at Baseball Prospectus. The contest involved picking one player at each position (before the season started) that you thought would have horrible offensive stats yet still get a bunch of at bats. Players like Rey Ordonez and Neifi Perez were common choices.

The ISBISS Awards are similar in that they honor the ignoble. Give credit where no credit is due. Lavish with praise those who deserve scorn.

ISBISS is short for "I Suck But I Still Shoot." I thought about calling them the Antoine Walker Awards, but in the end I couldn't resist coming up with a pronouncable acronym.

Since the 2004 season is still in full swing I will posthumously give out the 2003 awards. The selection process is simple-- find the player at each position with the lowest PPS (points per shot). I set a minimum of 300 FGA for the season. Without further adieu...

(God I fucking hate ESPN.com. It has to be one of the most popular websites in the world and yet the site is often slower than shit. You think they could afford some super fast servers or whatever. And why the hell do I have to enter my Insider password for every damned chat? Since I'm still waiting for the site to load I'll go on. Does anyone else notice that if The Sports Guy hasn't written a new article in a couple of days they'll just change the title of his last one, making you think it's new? Not to mention the fact they actually pay Greg Anthony to write about the NBA. Unfortunately it's the only site that has sortable PPS.)

PG Maurice Williams, Utah, 0.94 PPS with 303 FGA
SG Eddie House, LAC, 0.91 PPS with 449 FGA
SF Jarvis Hayes, Washington, 0.97 PPS with 695 FGA
PF Antoine Walker, Dallas, 1.02 PPS with 1129 FGA
C Predrag Drobnjak, LAC, 1.01 PPS with 379 FGA (just beating out Rasho)

Please feel free to propogate the word isbiss in its various forms. Such as:

"The Wizards managed to beat the Spurs despite Arenas' isbissal performance."
"Dude, don't pick that guy. He's one of them isbissers."
"Antoine Walker is putting on an isbissing clinic out there tonight!"

San Antonio Spurs Blog is not affiliated with the Spurs organization or any major publication.
All content copyright Matthew Powell 2005.