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08 February 2005

Brevin Knight Molests Baby Kangaroos

Spurs 104 @ Charlotte 85

The Spurs often have trouble with lesser teams. Last year, Philly came into the Alamo City without Iverson and beat the Spurs. This year, New Orleans nearly won in the SBC Center without Baron Davis. Tonight the Spurs faced the expansion Bobcats, who were missing their best player, Emeka Okafor, as well as their starting SG Kareem Rush.

Some Spurs fans may want to take solace in the fact the Spurs crushed their opponent, but let's face it, this game meant nothing. The team Charlotte put on the floor tonight would have had trouble against some NBDL teams. Their only guy offensive threat was Primoz Brezec, who Indiana left unprotected in the expansion draft. Jason Kapono, who's basically a slower footed Fred Hoiberg, scored some points, but they were all in garbage time. And why did he ditch the headband he sported whilst at UCLA?

Kapono and Brevin Knight combined for a rebound in 62 minutes. So if you had a team composed of Knight, Kapono, Szczerbiak, Marks and Jerome James, how many rebounds would they grab in 48 minutes? 11? Maybe some of you MIT folks can run a computer simulation.

Speaking of the MIT Beavers, this here blog gets hits from some MIT.edu computers. This has to be some automated computer program that optimizes search engine queries or something, right?

The game still had its entertaining moments. There were a slew of very sad airballs. It started with Theron Smith taking an angled shot from about 10 feet that hit the side of the backboard. Kapono had two, the first occuring when he haplessly tried to draw a foul on a three-pointer. He sort of slipped and left the shot about five feet short. He also attempted a left-handed finger roll which he left about three feet short. Massenburg had a great one, too. With the shot clock running down he threw up a right handed mini hook that was about three feet short of the rim. At first I thought it had to be blocked, but after rewinding the only explanation possible is that he had no idea where he was on the court. The moral of the story: Massenburg should never, ever shoot the ball.

The highlight of the night had to be Marks delivering the facial to the helpless Melvin Ely. The bench went nuts of course. He also had an alley-oop from Parker earlier-- quite possibly the best game Sean Marks has ever had in the NBA. By the way, he managed 0 rebounds in 14 minutes.

Duncan's injury allowed Rasho some time in the paint where, well, he sort of dominated, hitting his first seven shots. At one point he did a little head fake and hit a line drive turn around. Sean Elliott called it the "Slovenian version of the Dream Shake."

With about four minutes left the refs basically swallowed their whistles. On two consecutive possessions Charlotte hacked away at the Spurs without drawing a foul. About thirty seconds later Brevin Knight "drives" the lane, gets a little kneeage from Beno, and proceeds to throw a wild shot at the backboard. The refs don't call anything and Brevin goes apeshit, screaming at the ref for about 30 seconds before drawing a T... with 52 seconds left in a game that was over at half time. What the fuck? That's almost as embarrassing as getting dusted by Tony Parker on about twelve consecutive possessions. I don't give a shit what your assist-to-turnover ratio is, you, Brevin Knight are just another can't shoot point guard SCRUB.

The Spurs play at Washington tomorrow, where Duncan again will not play. Washington is without Larry Hughes and sports the most ludicrous All Star selection in Antawn Jamison. This will mark the sixth or seventh consecutive game against a team missing a key player.

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All content copyright Matthew Powell 2005.